Friendship RIP

When is it time to end a friendship with someone? Are there warning bells that chime when you just aren’t on the same page anymore or certain signs that indicate it’s time you should move on?

Last week I had dinner with a good girlfriend of mine who was asking me what she should do about a friend of hers who has become, let’s just say, a demanding cow. My girlfriend (A1) is the doting kind – she does a lot for her friends and is the kind of person you can always depend on to do the right thing by you. Lately her friend (A2) has been exceptionally adverse to the fact that A1 has a boyfriend and is looking for a house to buy, spending more time at Ikea than out on the town. A2 isn’t ready for all that lovey-dovey, commitment stuff and is still enjoying going home with different men after drunken stupors in various seedy bars and clubs on the glitter strip. And she expects A1 to happily tag along.

So the problem with A1 is that A2 is complaining to her that she ‘doesn’t spend any time with her anymore’ because A1 is doing things like saving money, having nights in with her boyfriend and studying (I actually don’t see anything wrong with that). The thing is, A1 doesn’t want to spend time with A2 anymore because her priorities have changed and she doesn’t have the heart to tell A2 that she’s not into her choice of lifestyle anymore.

So I guess this poses the question – how to you broach the subject that you’ve ‘changed’ and tell your friend, it’s not you, it’s me?

I can understand that most girls have a couple of friends they consider wild and crazy, we all do – these are the lovable friends who get too drunk, try and have punch ups with other girls outside Maccas at 2am and then vomit on your new heels as they throw themselves into a waiting taxi. But they are who they are and they don’t pretend to be anyone else (and best of all they don’t want to change you) and you love them, flaws and all.

Does that love change when your girlfriend/s wants you to conform to something you know you’re not? Do you think having that awkward chat with her will fix things and make life easier, or ruin the friendship? And if it’s the latter, is it a friendship worth patching up?

We live in a world where young women idolise characters like Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda for their tight-knit friendship circle and unparalleled support for the life choices each other makes. Has this given us an unrealistic view of what friendship should be? I have no doubt in my mind that I would like to know that my friends support me in my endeavours, but if they didn’t, would it be worth my while trying to salvage something that was doomed to break or moving on without a backward glance?

I think it’s different if you clash over something but can get over it the next day – that’s a sign of a true friend. Being able to forgive and move on. As for A1 and A2’s future friendship – I’ll keep you posted…

My friend Bel

This is just a quick message wishing my friend Belinda all the best for her wedding this weekend. I've known Belinda a looooong time (16 years in fact) and she has been one of the best people to have come into my life. Love you lots BB xx

Woof - a dog's life

I've often said to my better half, that if I were to come back as any animal, it would be a dog. As I go to work in the morning, I will often look at my dog, basking in the morning sun and think "urgh I wish I could be doing that right now".

How hard can their lives be? Dogs have it so good - they live to make us happy, and are at their happiest when being walked, bathed or fed. They don't need to worry about mortgages or interest rates, world famine, appointments, work commitments or school fees.

My dog, Charlie, is a Cocker Spaniel and is a seriously pampered pooch (to the point where I think we have ruined him...) but I wouldn't have it any other way. What he does to my shitty, black temper on days where I come home from work and am literally red in the face with frustration, is amazing and definately therapeutic. One lick on the cheek and wag of a tail from Charlie boy makes it all seem so stupid.

If you have a dog or any well-loved family pet for that matter - take a leaf out of their book and take happiness from the most simple things in life - don't sweat the small stuff.

Up and blogging

So I have finally decided that I should start a blog.

Don't worry - it's not one of those hyper-opinionated, bitchy, whiney blogs. Rather, a frequent reflection of my life and the things that go on in it.

I guess the reason I wanted to start a blog was a) because people have told me I should try it; b) sometimes I feel like it's easier to get my head around things if I write them down and c) I've never really had a good crack at keeping a journal, so I guess this is the next best thing!?

Another thing is that I am in the throws of planning my October wedding and I thought a blog documenting the time leading up to the big day might be a good idea. To say the least, planning a wedding has been a pretty stressful, horrendous process for what is supposed to be 'the happiest day of your life'. Don't get me wrong - my fiancee and I are so excited for the day to come, it's just that you can only talk so much about table cloths, organza ribbon, cake flavours and the size of wedding dress hoops. I am sure it will be a wonderful day.... with lots of poufy-ness and tears (of happiness!)

My blog will also document any day-to-day topics that come across my desk that I feel might be important to discuss, or maybe they might just be a fun deter from the daily grind and include jokes, quotes or sticky scenarios I find myself in. I really love to cook as well, so don't be surprised to read a recipe I've tried and mastered (or failed) or a restaurant I've discovered.

Feel free to make comments (nice ones of course!) and open up discussions if you feel you'd like to.

Cheers,
Ash