Can dogs take social etiquette classes?

My dog really likes to embarrass me.

This morning before I started getting ready for work, I was munching on toast and looking outside thinking how nice and sunny it was for a crisp autumn morning, when the dog started crying.

He was sitting outside, all his shaggy little legs and belly drenched from running around the dew-soaked grass, looking at me pathetically like he was the worst-done by animal in the history of the world (he only looks at me like that when I put him outside, and he prefers to be inside with me).

Naturally, I felt a bit bad (it’s like that ad on TV where the lady pulling out of her driveway catches a glimpse of her dog in the window and upon it putting its paw on the window pane, she goes back inside to give him a treat because of her guilt at leaving him all day) so I decided to take his royal highness for a quick walk before I left for the day.

“Do you want to go for a walk?” I asked the dog as I opened the screen door and reached out to attach his lead to his collar, to which he spear tackled me and, if I were over the age of 70 would have probably fallen over and broken a hip. We then proceeded to do what looked like a little dance as Charlie’s excitableness prevented him from sitting still in one spot, rather he pranced around me in circles, swooping out of my reach.

After finally getting hold of him, he pulled me much like a water skier is pulled by a jet boat, down the side of the house and out the gate.

Now I must tell you that in the estate where we live, there is a heap of construction going on – I can count nine houses alone in our street and in the next one up – so there are a lot of male tradespeople around the place.

It’s bad enough that I literally have to run with the dog in order to keep up with him (I look like I am being taken for a run, instead of the dog) but when the dog wants to stop to do his big load of smelly business on the lawn of a work site where six or so young guys are standing around doing their thing, well that’s just great.  

Also, I am usually pretty good when it comes to taking a bag with me on walk to pick up any doggy doo-doos, but this morning unfortunately, I wasn’t so prepared so I had to suffer the immense embarrassment of watching my crazy dog do his thing right in front of these guys. Hey at least the dog was enjoying himself.

 

Charlie may look smart, but he is a cheeky, naughy boy!

I usually don’t care that much what strangers think of me, but this was just way out of hand. I thought about calling out “I’ll just pop home and get a bag and be back” but I couldn’t even look up, I just pulled the dog along and proceeded to briskly march around the corner and back up my street. I didn’t catch any of the reactions of the tradies working on that particular house, for all I knew they could have yelled something out, but the violent drumming of my heartbeat in my ears blocked out all noise.

Charlie, now relieved, had stopped pulling and panting and was trotting next to me like a controlled, handsome little dog who was the poster child for good behaviour. He almost looked like he was smiling.

On our way back to the house a couple walking their two black Labradors were coming towards us. As he spotted them, Charlie nearly pulled my arm out of its socket as he barked and pulled himself towards them. "I'm so sorry, he just really wants to say hello," I stammered at the couple, who basically ignored me and kept walking.

So all in all, it wasn't a great morning for Charlie and I.

Even though I was furious at him for embarrassing me, I couldn’t stay that mad, after all he does spend over nine hours a day on his own just waiting for the moment the garage doors open and Ben or myself come through the door.

I’ve learned my lesson – to avoid embarrassment, it’s always best to go out with a bag and to avoid other people walking their dogs at all costs. And if I don’t need the bag on tomorrow morning’s walk, maybe I could wear it over my head as I walk past the now desecrated work site…