This morning, my dad sent me this email that is doing the rounds - anyone who is a biased Maroons supporter will love it!

Two boys in Brisbane were playing football when one of the boys was attacked by a vicious Rottweiler.

Thinking quickly, the other boy rips a board off the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar, and twists, breaking the dog's neck.

A Courier Mail reporter hears about the incident and rushes over to interview the boy.

"Young Brisbane Lions Fan Saves Friend from Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook.

"But I'm not a Lions fan," the little hero replies.

"Sorry, since we are in Brisbane, I just assumed you were," says the reporter, and he starts again.

 "Qld Reds Fan Rescues Friend from Horrific Attack!" he jots in his notebook.

“I'm not a Reds fan either,” the boy responds. The reporter starts again:

“Maroons supporter risks life in heroic rescue.”

"I am not a Maroons supporter either…" said the boy.

"I assumed everyone in Brisbane was either for the Lions, Reds or the Maroons. So what team do you cheer for?” the reporter asked.

"We are both from Sydney and I'm a Blue's fan," said the boy.

The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes:

"Little Redneck Cockroach Bastard Vandalises Fence and Kills Beloved Family Pet."

Good luck for game 2 Queensland!!

Man-Flu - the facts...

A friend sent me this as there are a few viruses going around at the moment - one of which may be Man-Flu...

1. Man-Flu is more painful than childbirth. This is an irrefutable scientific fact*. *(Based on a survey of over 100,000 men).

2. Man-Flu is not 'just a cold', it is a condition so severe that the germs from a single Man-Flu sneeze could wipe out entire tribes of people living in the rainforest. And probably loads of monkeys too.

3. Women do not contract Man-Flu. At worst they suffer from what is medically recognised as a 'Mild Girly Sniffle' – which, if a man caught, he would still be able to run, throw a ball, tear the phone book in half and compete in all other kinds of manly activities.

4. Men do not 'moan' when they have Man-Flu. They emit involuntary groans of agony that are entirely in proportion to the unbearable pain they are in.

5. Full recovery from Man-Flu will take place much quicker if their simple requests for care, sympathy and regular cups of tea are met. Is that really so much to ask? Florence Nightingale would have done it.

6. More men die each year from MFN (Man-Flu Neglect) than lots and lots of other things (like rabbit attacks or choking on toast).

7. Men suffering from Man-Flu want nothing more than to get out of bed and come to work, but they are too selfless to risk spreading this awful condition amongst their friends and colleagues. In this sense, they are the greatest heroes this country has ever known.

8. In 1982 scientists managed to simulate the agonising symptoms of full blown Man-Flu in a female chimp. She became so ill that her head literally fell off.

9. Man-Flu germs are more powerful than He-Man, The Thundercats and The A-Team combined. They are too strong for weak, nasty tasting 'lady medicines' like Lemsip, so don't bother trying to force them on a victim of Man-Flu.

10. While it may seem like a Man-Flu sufferer is just lying around enjoying 'Diagnosis Murder' it is a commonly recognised medical fact that the exact pitch and frequency of Dick Van Dyke's voice has remarkable soothing powers.

Every minute in this country one man is struck down by Man-Flu. Women, all we ask is that each of you offers them a cup of tea, some kind words and your undivided attention and care. Then maybe, just maybe, we'll beat this monstrous disease together...

The perils of homework tasks

I received this little joke in an email and thought it was worth sharing...

For homework a grade 3 class in NSW were asked by their teacher, Mrs Jackson, to draw one of their parents at work. This is young Jessica's drawing about her mum (who features standing next to a 'pole'):  Here's the letter the teacher received the next day from the artist's mother: Dear Mrs. Jackson, I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer. I work at Bunnings (hardware store) and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week after the floods hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had and then I found one more in stock and several people were fighting over who would get it. Her picture doesn't show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last shovel we had in the store. From now on I will remember to check her homework before she hands it in. Sincerely, Erica Cameron