Change yourself, not others

I think that I am the kind of person who has a pretty open mind and generally speaking, I am pretty keen to try anything.

But I have an issue with people who look down upon you because you don’t share their beliefs or in their new found reason for living.

For instance, a friend who becomes a born-again Christian after making mistakes in life and then finding the church and the answers to all their problems. I am happy for you, but just because I don’t want to go on a church date with you doesn’t mean we can’t still be friends?!

Or the person who decides to give up alcohol forever and go to AA because they have seen the wrongs of their ways. They then lecture you about living soberly and how much better life is in general if you don’t drink. Hey buddy, I don’t have an alcohol problem – I respect you for getting help, but don’t judge me for not joining AA too!

Have you ever been in a situation like this? It’s really strange and I feel like it puts you in a position where your personal relationships with these people is changed and usually not for the better.  

Instead of people letting others ‘live and let live’ they want to push their new-found mantra on to people and then they react negatively if others don’t share in their enthusiasm. What sucks is that it is usually people that care about them that are the ones that get hurt.

It’s like a catch 22 – you are happy that your friend or loved one has found some clarity in life but you feel bad when you have to tell them that you don’t share that particular passion for whatever it is they are trying to achieve in life. It is your life after all, not theirs – why should you feel bad? I know it’s about preservation of a personal relationship but it’s almost like you have to approach situations like this in the most delicate of ways.

Like explaining to a child for the first time why their pet goldfish is bobbing motionless upside down in its water bowl.

Everyone is different after all and has their own opinions and beliefs. I am happy for friends and family that try new things and find themselves living better than they have their whole life. But please don’t be upset with me if your new commitment to something that means the world to you, doesn’t mean the world to me too.

What is worse when people become extremely arrogant and act like they are above everyone else given their new ‘worldly’ outlook and treat everyone else as though they are close-minded and ignorant.

A friend of mine who recently told a group of us that we were pretty much stupid for having mortgages and getting married after he pissed off overseas to quote “get rich and become a CEO” sheepishly emailed us with his tail between his legs and apologised for his cutting remarks. Just because we don’t all want to be big-shot business executives doesn’t mean we are lesser human beings.

I guess that I just want to say to all my friends and family members that I’ll still love you even if you do become obsessed with some weird cult or believe that we should all be embracing public nudity or even if you think the national anthem should be replaced with Beyonce’s Single Ladies. Just don't expect me to embrace it whole-heartedly.