WARNING: Hormonal

I am on an emotional roller coaster at the moment, and I can’t wait until it stops. That is the only way I can describe how I am feeling at the moment, and I can’t even be bothered wording it differently so awful clichés will have to suffice.


My hormones are going crazy, and in turn, making the people around me crazy as they try to deal with my wild mood swings, tears and tantrums. Oh yes, pregnancy can be a b*tch.

The smallest thing is enough to set me off… and don’t even talk to me about work at the moment – that’s just been thrown in the too hard basket.

I think I need to get myself one of these shirts...

I get sent weekly email updates from the Huggies people, detailing mine and the baby’s physical and emotional changes. They are pretty interesting and most of the time, quite accurate.

This week the following two paragraphs are especially relevant to my situation:

You could find yourself feeling more emotional than you usually are, with situations or stories really affecting you. Watching the news can bring on a fresh outbreak of tears, not to mention walking past a new baby in its pram.

If you’ve always prided yourself on being very disciplined about your eating and exercise habits, being 24 weeks pregnant may come as a rude shock. You’re hungry, tired and feeling as if you really couldn’t be bothered keeping up your usual routines. Guess what? You don’t have to. Give yourself a break and ease into what should be a reasonably relaxing time. Pregnancy is not a performance based state, nor can it be graded into high, average or low achievement. Trying to intellectualise your symptoms or why you are feeling as you do will just sap valuable energy from what should be an easy time. So keep a supply of treats in the pantry and reach for them if you’re feeling low.

I especially like that bit at the end there talking about the supply of treats in the pantry – hey if the good people at Huggies say I should be treating myself to make me feel better, then pass me another chocolate chip cookie.

But seriously, I have got to say, I do not love being an emotional wreck. I have been a cow to my husband and my dad, the two men who (sadly for them) have to deal with me day in, day out at home and work. I hope they realise that it’s not the real me, just the mega-hormonal, tired and cranky version of me who really feels pretty rotten about most things in the world at the moment.

All I can say is that I am sorry and I hope you understand – this too shall pass.

Can't touch this

Maybe I should consider getting a t-shirt like this one printed...

I recently had an experience, which up until now, I thought would be horrendously invasive and an assault on my personal space.

A stranger touched my pregnant belly without my permission.

Let me paint a picture for you.

On my hunt for something to eat for lunch, I went to a little local kebab shop where I knew the owner made amazing felafel kebabs. She is Indian-Australian and is about four foot tall with a broken accent and she is very sweet.

“Hi, I’d like to get a felafel kebab please,” I asked her. “With lettuce, tomato, a little bit of onion and barbecue sauce thanks.”

When the lady was finished taking my order, she looked up at me and then down at my belly. Quick as a flash she was then softly stroking my abdomen while saying “You’re pregnant – how far along are you?” to which I stuttered “About 24 weeks – we’re not finding out the sex.” She simply smiled and said “Good girl. Now go and sit down and I will bring your lunch out to you.”

Now I always thought that when I got pregnant, that I wouldn’t allow complete strangers to come up and touch me – I am funny about people I don’t know being in my personal space. 

But this lady had such a kind demeanour that even thought her actions took me by surprise, I didn’t react in the negative way I thought I would. I guess it depends on the person and the situation.

My belly has been growing, but it has become such a part of me now that I don’t really notice that I am getting bigger. I find myself going out to check the mail or do the grocery shopping and catch people looking me up and down or staring at me. My first thought is to go “What the hell are you looking at?” before I remember that I am pregnant and they are probably looking at my little protruding belly.

One checkout chick even offered to lift my bags of groceries into my trolley. I stupidly thought “Why?” and then realised that she was smiling at me saying I shouldn’t lift anything heavy in my state. Duh she can see you’re pregnant Ashleigh!  

So I guess I just have to get over people reacting to my pregnancy. Whether I like it or not, people are going to comment and want to touch me, which kind of creeps me out but I do understand that they are just being sweet. But I’d appreciate a little bit of notice before you try and put your hands on me because it's still my body, not yours. 

  

Appointments with attitude

Hey lady, don't have attitude with me!

So yesterday I spent most of the day in the waiting rooms of several doctor’s surgeries.

Apart from the creepy smell that always comes with anything medical, one thing I always notice when I am in waiting rooms is the antics of the receptionists behind the front counter.

In particular, yesterday I was in a radiologist’s office in Southport for quite some time and I found myself eavesdropping in on the conversations of the four women taking calls and making appointments.

Honestly, these women spend half their time gossiping and fluffing around. While I was waiting, one woman got up to have her break. After she left her spot behind the counter, two of the other women started saying things like “she always smells when she comes back from her breaks of cigarettes”.

Another thing I noticed was when the two male radiologists came in to pick up their job sheets for the next round of patients, one woman in particular would gesture towards them and start whispering to each of the men in a way that told me this was the only kind of intimacy she experiences each day – the attention of her male colleagues.

A young guy who left after getting scans done was particularly tatted up. As soon as he was out the door, one lady just HAD to tell the others how much she despised tattoos and how ugly they were blah blah blah… to stop your work and just talk about rubbish like that while people in the waiting room can hear you is unacceptable.

So it surprised me when patients – most of them elderly – went up to the counter to pay their bill or make another appointment, that these women were so rude to them. Given that they weren’t doing much work at all, you wouldn’t think there would be a need for such impoliteness.

“I’m not finished what I’m doing just yet, so you’ll have to wait,” said one woman to a mother and her daughter who just wanted to pay their bill and leave. I felt like saying, “Why? All you’ve been doing is bitching about your other female colleague for the past 10 minutes about her smoking habit, surely you have time to look after this patient?”.

There is no need for this kind of attitude and what surprises me is that I seem to see it quite a bit, no matter what doctor’s surgery I go to.

Once when I arrived for an ultrasound appointment, I waited for about six minutes while the two girls behind the counter finished their personal conversation about what happened on their weekend, before they would acknowledge me. It wasn’t until I blatantly interrupted them that they rolled their eyes and checked me in.

Seriously, for all you people who work behind reception desks in medical offices, think about the people coming in for appointments – a lot of them aren’t well and are in pain. It’s your job to serve them and if it’s not too much trouble, do it with a smile.

Free therapy through letter writing

I’ve turned into a letter writer. You know, one of those people that have an issue, so they write letter upon letter until something or some kind of reimbursement is offered to make everything all warm and fuzzy again?

One thing I’ve found, that apart from the emotional kick I get out of giving people or businesses that have wronged me a blast, is that it is an incredibly therapeutic process.

Today I’ve written a scathing follow-up letter to our builder notifying them that I am appalled at the lack of response I received first round of communication. Sure our house probably isn’t even safe to live in, but I guess you’ll just return my email when you’re good and ready.

Well today I have been in a state about these ongoing issues, so I decided to draft up a few lines telling them how I felt:

“Dear Mr Builder – I hate your stinking guts. Signed, client who has paid you hundreds of thousands of dollars.” 

“Dear greedy-bloodsucking-losers with no duty-of-care – is my house going to explode? Regards, your unhappy customer.” 

“Yo – I’m going to sue your f*****g poor excuse for a company and then drag your name through the mud in the media until you fix my damn house issues. Love always, Ash (your very sarcastic and biggest non-fan).”

No I didn’t write any of this, but just I did write a very firm yet polite prose about exactly what I wanted and expected to be done. I think I get the sense of release after writing a few drafts of what I’d really like to say to them… you should try it.

I could resort to other, much more extreme means to try and get my point across (let your mind wander, and yes, I’ve thought of doing it!) but I concluded that writing a letter is much more socially acceptable than leaving a gaping, smouldering hole in the side of my target’s place of business.

So if you have an issue, write a letter, you’ll be surprised how good it feels to really bang on the keyboard and watch as page upon page is filled with your angry, bitter and (hopefully not regrettable) language.

Makeup mahem

Unless you have six arms, please don't attempt this in the morning traffic rush!

When I was little, weekday mornings were always a mad rush to get my brother and I to school.

My mum successfully managed to juggle packing our lunches, making breakfast, ironing our uniforms and my dad’s work shirt, getting us dressed and making sure we brushed our teeth/hair, then showering herself and getting dressed before heading out the door. 

The only thing she would never put on before she left the house was her makeup. That was left for the car…

Now I used to watch my mum as she quickly and effectively applied foundation, mascara, blush, lipstick and combed her hair in a matter of two or three traffic light stops – she was quick, no mucking around here!

Now I know this is dangerous to do in the car, and I myself don’t have the coordination to even contemplate doing it, but it seems as though others who really should take more time in the morning to do their face, unfortunately leave it for the drive to work.

I had the unhappy pleasure of driving behind one such tragic this morning – she was hardly as deft as my mother in the applying-makeup-in-car department, and proceeded to swerve around in her lane, then into the other lane, narrowly missing oncoming traffic.

It wasn’t as if she even waited to stop at a light or anything – she thought she could do this while moving at more than 80km/hour. Oh the rush and the stress of it all!

I couldn’t even get around the maniac – she was swerving so much that if I had gone around her I probably would have been side-swiped. Cars were dodging her as they zoomed past, some even breaking to take a gander at the crazy behind the wheel.

Once we eventually stopped at a traffic light, she missed the light once it turned green. I let her know it was time to move (well, my horn let her know) to which I got a rude response – she gave me the finger.

Well that’s fine love, but next time you’re wrapped around a light pole because you’re trying to fix your ugly mug in the tiny rear-view mirror instead of waking up 15 minutes earlier in the morning and being better organised to do it at home, maybe you will then re-assess how important it was to apply makeup in the car.

If you have mastered the art like my mum did back in the day, then hats off to you. In the meantime, please leave this task to your bathroom ladies!

Please, enjoy!

Yesterday I went to a supermarket (I won’t name which one) to buy a couple of mundane items including paper towel, insect spray and a zucchini.

As I lined up with all the other people at the checkout I noticed that the supermarket clerk had a strange farewell line he used for each customer – “enjoy!”

As I looked down at the three items I had in my hand, I wondered if you can really ‘enjoy’ insect spray, paper towel and a zucchini. I suppose there are ways?

So as it came to be my turn to be served and upon handing over my cash and receiving my change, the young man whipped out a big cheesy smile and said in a pleasant supermakety voice that you hear over the loudspeaker, ‘enjoy!’.

I raised my eyebrows and gave him a knowing look and with a hint of a wink I told him “oh, I intend to” as a bit of a joke, to which he gave a fleeting glance at my zucchini gripped in my hand and then gave me a smirk while snorting though his nose.

Dirty bastard!

So, word to the wise buddy, for those customers, even the elderly that you may serve, please don’t tell them to ‘enjoy’ what they have bought. It doesn’t make sense, especially when it isn't a food item. What if someone was there to purchase batteries or super glue or even a bottle of laxatives – people don’t always ‘enjoy’ their purchases.

Where is the love?

With more and more expecting well, more, for their dollar, customer service has never been more important during these harsh economic times.

You only have to pick up the daily rag to read that retailers and big companies are putting the pressure on their staff to step up their game and really listen to their customers.

As the old line says ‘the customer is never wrong’ and this is the mantra that service providers live by (I have been at both ends of this statement). 

Why is it then, that some people who have titles such as Customer Care Manager or Customer Relations Consultant really have jack all skill in the specific area of offering care to their customers? Or do they just not give a shit? Or do they just like bickering with the people that are keeping them in a job?

I guess I am a bit jaded – our Customer Care Manager (or whatever her damn title is) who is dealing with us during our building process is being plain and simply, an irritating cow who has not given us a single amount of ‘care’.  

I think I have answered all of the questions Ben and I have had about the build myself, as our CCM has been unable to provide any kind of assistance and even when she attempts to, it’s very feeble. Essentially I am doing this woman’s job for her because she is so bad at what she does and I just don’t have the patience to deal with her.

I don’t get this. I mean we are building a damn house and giving this company more money that we’ve ever spent on anything… and we can’t even get a woman to return a phone call or email. I know you are busy, but so am I and a little communication wouldn't go astray. It really is frustrating and all I can hope is that it will be worth all the hassle in the end (which I am sure it will be).  

I am not going to be one of those customers who send a thank you card and a bunch of flowers or the customary bottle of wine at the conclusion of our dealings. I’ll send her a bag of my dog’s pooh more likely. 

What’s sad is that this isn’t the first time I’ve been given slack customer service when it comes to something important.

Last year one of the women who was instrumental in organising our wedding at the Sofitel on the Gold Coast (and who I had in charge of all of the minor details for the reception) decided that on the night of the reception, she wouldn’t turn up.

Well you could imagine how I felt upon hearing from her substitute that she wouldn’t be there (all I can say is that I had wonderful bridesmaids who were plying me with champagne at that point).

It’s like once they get paid, they really just don’t care anymore – there is no follow up and all of their initial promises of being there for you and being only a phone call or an email away are broken. It’s bullshit!

When I am at work the clients come first and that’s how it should be. I don’t ignore their requests and I don’t skit over details because I just can’t be bothered getting into explanations.

Hell, my husband is so damn dedicated to customer service (he works at a bank) that he is at work at 7:30am and often not home until 7pm because he is trying to sort out issues so that people aren't left in the dark without their questions answered. More people should adapt his work ethic!

People, a little care here and there goes a long way!

Change yourself, not others

I think that I am the kind of person who has a pretty open mind and generally speaking, I am pretty keen to try anything.

But I have an issue with people who look down upon you because you don’t share their beliefs or in their new found reason for living.

For instance, a friend who becomes a born-again Christian after making mistakes in life and then finding the church and the answers to all their problems. I am happy for you, but just because I don’t want to go on a church date with you doesn’t mean we can’t still be friends?!

Or the person who decides to give up alcohol forever and go to AA because they have seen the wrongs of their ways. They then lecture you about living soberly and how much better life is in general if you don’t drink. Hey buddy, I don’t have an alcohol problem – I respect you for getting help, but don’t judge me for not joining AA too!

Have you ever been in a situation like this? It’s really strange and I feel like it puts you in a position where your personal relationships with these people is changed and usually not for the better.  

Instead of people letting others ‘live and let live’ they want to push their new-found mantra on to people and then they react negatively if others don’t share in their enthusiasm. What sucks is that it is usually people that care about them that are the ones that get hurt.

It’s like a catch 22 – you are happy that your friend or loved one has found some clarity in life but you feel bad when you have to tell them that you don’t share that particular passion for whatever it is they are trying to achieve in life. It is your life after all, not theirs – why should you feel bad? I know it’s about preservation of a personal relationship but it’s almost like you have to approach situations like this in the most delicate of ways.

Like explaining to a child for the first time why their pet goldfish is bobbing motionless upside down in its water bowl.

Everyone is different after all and has their own opinions and beliefs. I am happy for friends and family that try new things and find themselves living better than they have their whole life. But please don’t be upset with me if your new commitment to something that means the world to you, doesn’t mean the world to me too.

What is worse when people become extremely arrogant and act like they are above everyone else given their new ‘worldly’ outlook and treat everyone else as though they are close-minded and ignorant.

A friend of mine who recently told a group of us that we were pretty much stupid for having mortgages and getting married after he pissed off overseas to quote “get rich and become a CEO” sheepishly emailed us with his tail between his legs and apologised for his cutting remarks. Just because we don’t all want to be big-shot business executives doesn’t mean we are lesser human beings.

I guess that I just want to say to all my friends and family members that I’ll still love you even if you do become obsessed with some weird cult or believe that we should all be embracing public nudity or even if you think the national anthem should be replaced with Beyonce’s Single Ladies. Just don't expect me to embrace it whole-heartedly.

Not a Belieber

Okay, I do NOT understand the phenomenon that is Bieber. WTF?? There is something about this kid and his know-it-all attitude that is seriously getting to me.

I know that I am not an over-stimulated, hormone driven 15-year-old girl anymore, but this kid seriously is out of line with some of the crappola that is coming out of his mouth.

What is concerning is that his God-like status amongst everyone under the age of 17 (and many others much, much older) gives him a free ticket to do/say/sing what he likes.

This week a new interview between Rolling Stone Magazine and Bieber was published. The ‘teen sensation’ was asked about girls, love, sex, politics and everything in-between, and his responses (in my opinion) were….. well, you decide.

Sex: “I think you should just wait for the person you're...in love with”.

Aw, that’s nice Justin, but not how the world works, honey! At least this is a positive message for your younger fans.

Politics: "I'm not sure about the parties," Bieber says. "But whatever they have in Korea, that's bad."

Wow… um okay. Embarrassing much? For someone looking for world-domination you would think he would actually know what is going on in that said world? 

On America: The Canadian-born boy calls Americans “evil” and has no plans to become an American citizen. He also disses the US health-care system (or lack, there of).

On abortion: “I really don't believe in abortion" Bieber says. "It's like killing a baby." How about in cases of rape? "Um. Well, I think that's really sad, but everything happens for a reason. I don't know how that would be a reason. I guess I haven't been in that position, so I wouldn't be able to judge that."

No, that’s right Justin, you haven’t been placed in a situation like that and you don’t know how it feels, so please don’t give your opinion! PUNK! These comments really upset me!

PalindromicGirl on Twitter says: When Bieber is old enough to become pregnant herself, then maybe she'll understand.

I totally see now that people share my same confused frustration with this kid making comments about life issues that he has no idea about. I also understand the 'Bieber is a girl' references.... because as a 16-year-old boy commenting on girl issues - he has NO clue.

I just think that if you’re going to be in the lime-light and take a stance on issues that you feel are important, maybe first take a step back and think about how your comments come across to the public and fans. And maybe, if you don’t know what you’re talking about; don’t say anything at all.

How about you just stick to singing and get through that awkward phase when your voice breaks… you can also fill more of your time copying Usher’s dance moves.

Justin – your uneducated and frankly out of line comments are not welcome here.

Quotes from:
http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/justin-bieber-talks-sex-politics-music-and-puberty-in-new-rolling-stone-cover-story-20110216

Every little thing is gonna be alright

Sometimes when you feel like the world is against you, you just have to keep battling on.


This week hasn’t been the best one for me and I have had this overbearing feeling that the universe is out to get me. I know it’s childish and I know that other people in the world have much larger problems, but I’ve just been feeling really sorry for myself.

Don’t worry I won’t bore anyone with the fine print – the little issues I am referring too aren’t even worth rating a mention. It’s just when they all come to the fore at once I (obviously) just can’t handle the stress of it all.

When I take a deep breath and realise that my monumental, life-altering problems are really not so bad, I am able to put it all into perspective.

I really should take the advice of a kindly nurse I met last year and take up Yoga (last year I was admitted to hospital with I thought were serious chest pains and I was actually just having a panic attack after hearing some bad news). She told me I just need to stress-less and she’s probably right. Okay, she is definitely right.

So my weekend plan is to completely relax. I am going to crack open a good bottle of wine tonight and my husband and I are going to watch a movie I’ve been looking forward to seeing (The Black Swan).

Sorry to anyone I’ve snapped at (namely Ben, Dusty and my Dad) this week – I will be a much more serene and chilled out Ashleigh next week. I promise!

Have a great weekend everyone : )

Not happy, Jan

This week has been a doozy for people not doing their job/s properly.

There has been a handful of incidents this week where I’ve been let down because:

a) People forgot to plug in their brain in when they woke up in the morning
b) They hate their job so much that they want to take it out on customers
c) They are just bad/angry people in general and don’t care about anyone/thing
d) They didn’t double-check details before rudely attacking and making accusations, and then failing to apologise when they were wrong

…I could go on and on.

It’s just so frustrating. I work in an industry where clients expect over and above the service you provide for them and I have no problem with that because I know I will make them happy by doing a good job. When you have a work ethos like this, you make the mistake of assuming everyone is just as hard-working and dedicated as you are to their job and clients/customers.

WRONG!

People don’t care and many are just put on Earth to let you down or make your day hell.

I forked out nearly $4000 for a trip recently to have all the dates/paperwork stuffed up. No real explanation from the travel agent as to why she decided to provide me with incorrect information, I guess she just felt like being particularly bad at her job that day. It’s just that I’m made to look the fool because I had to contact her on four or five different occasions to clarify things (of course if she had done the right thing in the first place she could have given me a smile and bid me adieu).

And today I was falsely accused of having an outstanding amount owing to a business publication. I got a rude email from a snotty office bitch claiming that if we didn’t pay in full by the end of the week that she’d send the collection agency after us.

Um… lady? Hello in there? If you’d just looked up your files properly you would see that the account was paid in full nearly four months ago.

I am just over this crap at the moment. I really should stop caring so much then I wouldn’t be so surprised when people let me down.

At a crossroad

Okay so on Wednesday my brother and I went to Ferry Rd Markets for some lunch. Anyone who has been to the Brickworks knows that that carpark is often a nightmare to navigate on the best of days.

On this particular day, it wasn’t the drivers that annoyed me to the point where my knuckles turned white seizing the wheel, it was the pedestrians.

My basic understanding of a pedestrian crossing is a place where drivers slow down at the ‘zebra crossing’ and allow people to walk past without being flattened in an area where there aren’t any traffic lights.

As most people have got the basic concept of this down pat, why is it that while I approached one particular crossing at the Brickworks a lady decided to just stare at me, gobsmacked?

I don’t get it! You are meant to confidently walk out on to the road on the area of bitumen that was painted specifically for you as a pedestrian and cross to the other side.

This lady seemed to forget this mighty hard fact and as I approached, just stood to the side, frozen. So you can understand the slight annoyance and my sudden urge to honk loudly at her. It wasn’t until I actually waved her across that she acknowledged the fact that I wasn’t going to steam roll her.

Now she didn’t look like the type of person who had never crossed a zebra crossing before, so I would assume she knew what each individual’s role was to play that afternoon.

GAH!

People, if they day comes when someone doesn’t stop for you at a crossing, give them the finger. Until then, please please stop being so frustrating and just use crossings properly. It’s really not that hard!

That’s my gripe for the week!

Happy Friday xo