Friend of foe - who knows?

Best friends can fight, but doing something intentionally hurtful is not the mark of a true friend.

When it comes to girls sticking by their friends, I am very loyal. Like Serena always forgives Blair after an almighty hair-pulling, name-calling, back-stabbing tirade, these besties are always there for one another.

This may not be an episode of Gossip Girl, but I can honestly say that over the years, I have got myself into fights with some of my closest friends and thanks to the bonds of sisterhood, all has been forgiven and forgotten. That is the mark of true friendship.

It’s funny when people come in and out of friendship ‘groups’ – I can honestly say that despite this, I’ve had the same friends for years – we have endured a lot together despite others trying to weaken our bond with jealousy or whatever petty agenda they might have had.

It’s the same with people ‘competing’ over a friend and trying to one-up someone. Who are you trying to impress? Are you just trying to satiate your own insecurities by sucking up to someone to prove to everyone else that you’re actually besties with them? Pathetic.

Is it something in our blood that girls have to one-up each other? Have better jobs, better cars, better looking boyfriends or husbands, nicer homes and hair cuts? I get that ladies tend to be like this with their frenemies, but with a friend? That’s a no-no. Jealously is an ugly thing after all and if we are friends, why are we competing?

So when something bad happens to a girlfriend at the hands of a supposed ‘friend’, it leaves me pretty gobsmacked. Do these sisterly bonds mean nothing?

One of my best friends was recently let down by someone she considered a friend in the worst imaginable way (I won’t go into details) and it has hurt her so much. The worst thing is, is that this isn’t the first time my friend has been affected by the actions of a girlfriend.

It makes me so incredibly infuriated that one friend would do something so heinous to another. Are girls so horrible and nasty that they take joy in bitching and backstabbing one of their own? Is that person so narcissistic and awful that their friend’s feelings never come into consideration?

We don’t have to agree with each other and see eye to eye on everything, but this is the reason why I love my friends – we are all different and have differing views on life and how to live it.

My mother taught me that I had to look after my friends and be there for them. I feel like I have always strived to do this and be the best friend I can be. Sometimes it’s hard – it’s give and take after all – but at the end of the day at least I know I did the best thing I could for my mate.

I guess on reflection, it’s a bit sad that girls still want to bring each other down, even their own friends.  Having attended school with a lot of my current friends, we have known each other for a long time. We are now nearing 30 and it saddens me that I still see girls who know not the value of a real friendship. If they did, their actions wouldn’t be so unforgivable and just plain hurtful.

The moral of the story is this – us girls need to stick together because in life, you need real friends you can always count on.