Love you long time

Photograph by Lauren Joy Photography

Today is our second wedding anniversary! Just wanting to let my wonderful husband know that I love him more than anything and that I love our life together. We are celebrating two years today, but have been together for 12 and I am so lucky to have spent that time with him by my side xxx

Women taking a 'leap' of faith this year

Now as there are only two days left of February (yes, two days, not one, as 2012 is a leap year) I would like to discuss the trend of women proposing to men when this occurrence happens once every four years.

According to Australian wedding website the knot.com.au women weren’t allowed to propose to men except on one day (February 29 on a leap year). 

The website says:

The tradition dates back hundreds of years, to when the leap year was not recognised by English law; the day was simply "leapt over" and ignored. Since it had no legal status, formal traditions did not apply on this day. Consequently, women who were not content to wait for a proposal took advantage of this anomaly and popped the question themselves. It was also thought that since leap year corrected the discrepancy between the calendar year (365 days) and the time it takes for the earth to complete one orbit of the sun (365 days and 6 hours), it was an opportunity for women to correct a tradition that was one-sided and unfair.

I love marriage proposals – mine was the most wonderful moment that I will cherish forever. When my husband got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife was honestly the happiest day of my life (apart from actually marrying him!).

In my head, there is just something a bit wrong about this picture if it were me down on bended knee.  

I am not a feminist or anything and I do believe that women, if they have enough balls to do it, have every right to ask their man to be their husband.

I’m just not one of those chicks.

The way I see it is this – women get the amazing experience of giving birth to children, so shouldn’t men get to do something awesomely special as well? The ladies can’t go hogging all the good stuff in life! 

Another thing is this, if he hasn’t asked you, he’s probably not ready for marriage – don’t think that beating him to the chase is going to do yourself any favours, because you might end up dejected and woefully embarrassed.

I just think that it’s up to the man to ask. I guess I am a bit of a romantic and I am a sucker for happily ever after stories, but there is something to be said for a man who loves a woman and just wants to make her his. I think that if I had asked my husband to marry me that he would probably felt just a little less masculine…

So, I’ll say this – it’s not for everyone, but if you’re a lady and wanting to take matters into your own hands – then good luck to you! I really hope it works out for you and that he says “yes!”.

Nothing is worse than a BRIDEZILLA

As wedding season comes a knocking once again (referring to Spring time for the guys reading this) I am feeling kind of reflective.

We were married nearly a year ago (October 2) and our first year of marriage has really flown by. Soon, some close friends and even some family members will tie the knot and being involved in their preparations has also reminded me of the not-so-fun parts of organising the big day.

At the end of the day, I found I was getting frustrated by really minor things that at the time, seemed major.  

I know mothers and soon-to-be mothers-in-law and some over-bearing friends can get a bit hassling – but they are allowed to be (to a point!) as they are only trying to help because they love you!

What is important to remember is that you have to consider others in your plans (suprising to some of you!) so keep this in mind.  

I know people say ‘it’s OUR day’ and get all caught up in what they want and have this crazy tunnel vision that just focuses on them (lets not kid ourselves – it’s usually the bride referring to herself here and being totally selfish/unreasonable!) and I guess this happens with every wedding because the bride is telling herself it’s all about ME, wait… US!  

A wedding day is special because it brings together people that have been part of yours and your fiancée’s life – so just breathe and let other people offer you some help, even if you insist on not taking it. There is no need to cause fights just before your special day because someone has requested something and you have to change plans slightly!

If things don’t go to plan on the day guaranteed as the bride, you will be the only one who notices it. Everyone else is looking at you and your new husband and I can tell you they are just happy to be part of the celebrations.

If you get feedback afterwards that one of your guests has been rude and complained about food, the father-of-the-bride’s speech and even criticised your dress… well, that’s when you have cause to get angry!

This is spoken from a bride who has been there and (unfortunately) experienced some of these things (including the horrible things mentioned in the above paragraph!).  

So, my advice is this – YES IT’S YOUR WEDDING SO STOP COMPLAINING – organise it and be thankful that you have a wonderful fiancée that wants to marry you and that you have friends and family who want to celebrate with you!

Stop whining about minor things because at the end of the day, it should be the happiest day of your life for you and your new husband.

No one wants to hear your crap anymore because there is nothing worse than a Bridezilla!

Tips for your big day

With several friends getting engaged and planning their special day, I have been thinking about things I would have liked to have known while I was booking and organising things for our wedding. 

Here are a few tips and some things I learned along the way:   

  

* Book your cars/transport in advance – we had issues booking our limo to go to the church because we had left it too late (a month and a half out) to book. If you are getting married in Spring, chances are that a majority of couples getting married are also planning a Spring wedding and will also need cars… so plan ahead and book them three months ahead (that way you can also get the exact car that you want).

* Do a trial photo shoot – we were lucky to have chosen a wonderful Gold Coast-based photographer who offered us everything we were looking for as far as the feel of her photos and her ideas. We had an ‘engagement’ shoot with our photographer, Lauren Ladgrove, who took us up to Burleigh Heads for an afternoon shoot. I thought this was a great idea because once we got these photos back we knew for sure that we wanted to secure her to do our wedding photos as well. It pays to look around because photographers can be expensive and charge you an arm and a leg.  Go to www.laurenjoyphotography.com.au for more info on Lauren.

* Don’t skimp when it comes to bridal shoes – you are going to be standing and posing all day – and it is a loooong day! So make sure you wear comfortable shoes and even have a flat pair as back up that you can slip on at the reception (I didn’t do this and regretted it!). There is nothing worse than feeling uncomfortable when dancing!

* Have a ‘reception dress’ as a back up – my wedding dress was raw silk and incredibly heavy, but I wanted to wear it all day as you only get married once! Well, after our photos were done and we were preparing to head into the reception, how I wished I had a back up dress that was light as a feather to put on! Of course it depends on what material your wedding dress is made of, but if you know it’s heavy, it pays to have something much lighter and easier to dance in that you can change in to.

* Book in for hair and makeup trials – I had three hair trials and one makeup trial. If you have an event to go to, use this as an excuse to get these done – that way you can trial which looks you like and know which ones don’t go so well with your overall wedding vision. I used Mia Connor from the makeup bar for my makeup and she was amazing www.miaconnor.com/

* Don’t drink too much on the day/night – you want to remember every detail of your wedding, so don’t get drunk and sloppy! I had one or two glasses before our church ceremony and then probably only four glasses at the reception (enough to relax and take the edge off while still being able to enjoy yourself). My husband did the same thing too – we were both very well behaved!

* Don’t stress over the guest list – I agonised over this and I wish that I hadn’t. People understand if they aren’t invited, after all, it is your special day and it’s not like it’s just a casual barbecue that every man and his dog turns up to. We invited 116 people and we had 108 turn up and 20 of those people were friends (we have big families). Remember, don’t feel the pressure to invite your mother-in-law’s BFF or your 13 cousins that you see once every ten years – think about who you really want there and invite them.

* Boys need help with their suits – don’t just assume that your groom and the groomsmen are on track with their organising (however small their list is compared to yours). I went out with my husband and looked at styles of suits and shirts that were in keeping with our colour scheme and theme of the day. Your opinion is valid and it helps keep the boys on their toes. Even if you call ahead and make a few appointments for them to try on suits at a few department stores, all they have to do is turn up and you can rest assured that you’ve got the ball rolling for them.

* Make sure your mother’s outfit is secured – my poor mum… she had her amazing George Gross gown, which fit her tiny size 8 frame like a glove, sold by an incompetent sales assistant at David Jones. Mum had it on hold as it had to have some repairs done and the silly cow just went and sold it to someone else. After what felt like a thousand phone calls to track another down (there wasn’t one) the head office said they would tailor make the same dress for my mum, and after she was measured up, her one-of-a-kind dress was delivered only two weeks before the wedding. It all worked out in the end (thank god!).


* Have your mum or a bridesmaid with you when you go to your final dress fitting. You need to have them there so that they can see exactly how to do your dress up for you on the big day. Get them to ask any questions and be patient if they have to be shown how to do this more than once. I can’t stress this point enough! 

* A white rose is never as white as you want it. It’s just a fact – don’t get upset over it because if you are having a white dress (like I did) your white roses will look slightly cream against it. There is nothing you can do to avoid this, unless you are wearing an ivory or cream gown. Coloured roses are a good option, but it’s custom for a bride to usually go with white roses.

* Ask lots of questions and put everything in writing!

* Go and have a cake tasting – we went with Yenmart on the Gold Coast and they were incredible and gave us so many options. You need to check the dietary requirements of your guests if you plan on serving your cake as dessert (we did this and had gluten free and allergy free options for a couple of guests). Go to http://www.yenmart.com.au/index1.html for more info. 

Our incredible cake - it was amazing!

* Consider people travelling from interstate and overseas, as well as elderly guests. You may need to make specific plans for these people so keep them in mind.     

* Keep a small clutch bag with a bridesmaid or family member with tissues, lip gloss, blotting paper, pain killers, bobby pins, tampons, bandaids and lollies (to keep your blood sugar up) on hand. Also keep water close by and make sure you eat something (no matter how nervous you feel) before you get ready. You need energy to survive – it’s a long day!

* Don’t feel pressured to do the garter routine – I didn’t do it because frankly I think it is tacky and unnecessary. Just because other brides do it doesn’t mean you have to. I don’t regret not doing it one bit!

* Remember to thank your guests on the night – take the time to go around to each table and say hi to everyone and thank them personally for being there for you and your new husband.


* Prepare a few words to say during speeches, even if you didn’t plan on saying something. I was roped into a last minute speech and didn’t prepare anything (which was okay because I spoke from the heart) but it pays to think of a few things just in case.

* Confirm bookings and have final meetings the week of the wedding. It will help you rest peacefully at night!

* It goes fast so enjoy every part of your big day. Try not to let nerves get the better of you – remember it is you and your man and it’s a celebration – there is no need to feel stressed!

Us having our first dance as wife and husband

Congrats to Wills & Kate

I am not ashamed to admit that I come from a family that is totally Royal Family gaga (on my mum’s side). So with the recent nuptials between Kate Middleton and Prince William it is safe to say that we were in a bit of a royal haze of excitement.

There is just something about a wedding – the emotion, the beautiful outfits, the music… I just can’t get enough. So needless to say I was glued to about three channels simultaneously last Friday night to watch my teenage crush say ‘I do’ to his commoner bride, now the Duchess of Cambridge.

When I was a teenager, around the ages of about 13 to 16, I thought Prince William was the bees knees. His floppy hair and boyish charm, not to mention his devilish grin that was obviously given to him from his genetically blessed mother, Princess Diana.

I was a bit emotional watching him and Harry walking into the Abbey and thinking about what these brothers have been through for men of such a young age.

I couldn’t help remembering the last time I watched a ceremony happen at the Abbey, which was Diana’s funeral. I clearly remember little Harry and William sombrely following their mother’s casket into the church. I think mum and I watched the telly all day that day and just cried. It was so emotional and devastating to think that these young men had lost their mother so young and in such horrific circumstances.

I think that Diana would have been extremely proud of William on his wedding day – from what I have heard/read he and Kate really did things their way and I think the ceremony was more a reflection of their mutual love for one another and less about the pomp and formalities reflected in previous royal weddings. He has taken so many cues from his mother – it’s more about being a good person than about being someone you think others want you to be.

I especially loved the part when he drove Kate away from the palace in his father’s blue Aston Martin convertible with balloons and streamers flowing behind them! They looked just like any other giddy couple on their wedding day.

I am so happy for them and I think they will certainly break the mould when it comes to royal couples and indeed future leaders of our Commonwealth.

Picture perfect

As part of our wedding we want to take a look back at our parents’ wedding day and remember their special day as well.

Last week I organised for some scans to be done of a handful of photos that were taken on their wedding day. It’s so great to look at how different everyone looked!

The fashion, the makeup, the hairstyles… it has been great looking back and listening to stories and advice from our parents. Planning our wedding, there have been numerous tales told about family nuptials – but the one thing I’ve been told time and time again is to try and relax and take it all in as it (the day) just goes so fast.

We’re on the countdown now with only 26 days to go… I can’t believe where the time has gone! It will be great to show my children our wedding photos one day and remember how great the day was…

What’s in a name?

Last night I was asked by a friend whether I would be taking my fiancé’s surname. Of course I am! I am traditional and I believe that if you get married, you take your husband’s name.

I know times are changing and you see more and more married women with hyphenated surnames and some still with their maiden name because they chose not to let go of it.

I kind of think that’s weird and I don’t mean any disrespect, but I would much rather change my name or hyphenate it than keep my maiden name. I guess it’s got something to do with acknowledging my fiancé and saying ‘yes, I want to officially be part of your family’.

My girlfriend who was recently married told me her dad had mentioned to her after she became engaged that now she was getting married she had to take her new husband’s name (and her dad wasn’t budging on the subject).

Another girlfriend who is getting married has chosen to hyphenate her surname because she feels that it’s an independence thing – she wants to say that she is still who she is as a person, even though she is married. I am not sure why she needs to prove that point to everyone else; after all there are usually only two people in a marriage. I don’t think you ‘lose’ who you are just because you change your name.

I for one think my fiancé would be hurt if I told him I had no interest in taking his name.

Anyway, I did some research and found some cracker hyphenated names…

Take me away...

After a fun-filled hen’s weekend spent with my closest friends and family, I realise how excited I am for this wedding (and honeymoon) to be happening!

It’s only four and a half weeks to go and there is still a bit to organise, but we’re on top of it. I must say though, when the stress gets a bit overwhelming, I just think of Nusa Dua, Bali where we will be jetting off to once we say “I DO”.

So, as I daydream at work, I thought I’d post some pictures of where Ben and I will be staying. It’s going to be magical…. I can already taste the cocktails!

Travel or Baby?

One thing I’ve found about getting engaged and (shortly) married is that more people have been asking ‘when are you going to start a family?’

Having children is something we want to do, but the more people question us, the more we really have to think harder about the answer.

The thing is, we want to do some travelling together and enjoy the time we have for the two of us before we add to our little family. Lots of our friends have travelled and now as we see more of them leave to start new and exciting adventures, we don’t want to be left behind.

Similarly, more of our friends are getting married and starting a family. They didn’t want to wait to have children and now as we are invited to baby showers and christenings; it raises the topic of discussion about our own future kids.

So I guess we want to travel, but we also want kids. I know there are chances to travel after your children have grown up and are capable of fending for themselves, but we feel like some things are better experienced while young blood still runs through our veins.

It still won’t stop me getting all clucky when I walk into a gorgeous baby store and coo over the tiny booties, cardigans and all-in-ones that I would adore to dress my little boy or girl in.

I know that a woman’s biological clock really starts slowing down after 30, so I’ve got a good couple of years up my sleeve before we start thinking about getting pregnant… so between now and then I don’t think it’s so wrong to be a tiny bit selfish and indulge ourselves before the inevitable nappy changes and early morning feeding sessions start?

We know a handful of people that happily lead child-free lives and have great jobs and the money to travel wherever they like. But that’s their choice and we are happy for them. I guess it’s just a personal thing and I don’t feel like we have to justify our decision either way to anyone.

I’m interested in hearing about your stories – did you wait to have kids for the same reason and then struggle to get pregnant thinking it would be easy? Or did you have kids straight away and now that they’re grown up, you have much more time to travel with friends?

I know it’s a very exciting thing – the prospect of starting a family. But I still feel like a spring chicken myself and I want to make the most of that feeling while I still have it, with my new husband.

x

A rose by any other name…

Who would have thought that you could have so many different types of roses… and so many hues of white… it’s enough to make me go back to art class and really pay more attention.

I am considering flowers for my wedding and it’s a much arduous job than I anticipated – the depth of colours, the type of greenery to complement the bloom, the shape and size of the petals…

I don’t envy florists and I think what they can do is simply brilliant! Ben’s cousin Jess is doing our flowers for the wedding and she really does have her work cut out for her. I’ve decided to let the sweet little old lady at the parish office look after the church arrangements so that Jess doesn’t stress too much (aren’t I a considerate bride?)

Feel free to post some comments about the type of flower arrangements you did at your wedding (or if you’re not married, what you would do) and why you chose a particular flower – I just think roses are so romantic and work perfectly at a wedding (some would say boring, but I don’t give a hoot really).

My friend Bel

This is just a quick message wishing my friend Belinda all the best for her wedding this weekend. I've known Belinda a looooong time (16 years in fact) and she has been one of the best people to have come into my life. Love you lots BB xx