Bullying bust-up not model behaviour

Now that I am a mother, I have started thinking/worrying/planning for things to prepare and protect Grace from as she gets older. Bullying is one inevitable thing that she will probably bare witness to. 

So I was mortified to hear that A Current Affair was televising a violent incident that occurred on the current Season of Foxtel’s Australia’s Next Top Model (ANTM) between two teenage contestants.

In a challenge-gone-wrong, New South Wales native Ashley Pogmore (18) was physically attacked by Taylah Roberts from Perth (18) after Ashley got paint on Taylah’s shirt. She was basically choked on TV.

The disturbing vision aired on A Current Affair on Monday night

Footage aired around the country on A Current Affair on Monday night showed Taylah wrapping her hands around Ashley’s neck in what was initially a ‘joke’ but  escalated into a serious situation, fast.

As a result of this, Taylah was disqualified from the show (that should be the least of her punishment in my book, she’s lucky Ashley isn’t pressing charges).

But what really boils my blood, is that this incident wasn’t aired on ANTM until last night (Tuesday). So in fact, producers of ANTM were promoting this case of bullying in order to boost viewership. The interview between the two girls on the Monday night acted as a preview to the actual event that was to be shown the next night. Ah, what the? 

I work in public relations, and I’ve got to say, I have never seen such desperate measures to win ratings. Seriously, what kind of television show publicises bullying?

Instead of dealing with it internally, the producers of ANTM obviously thought this clash between two feuding teenage-model-wannabes would make for good viewing. When youth suicide rates are climbing, did they think that this was some kind of clever ploy to satiate the thirst of young audience members?

A Current Affair spoke to both contestants. Taylah seemed regretful over her actions and a tearful Ashley (the one who got attacked) basically defended the actions of Roberts in the interview, saying that even though ‘violence isn’t right’ she didn’t want her competitor’s career ‘to be jeopardised over something that was just a complete misunderstanding’. These words surprised me as Ashley seemed very distraught over what had happened to her. 

 

Ashley Pogmore

Taylah Roberts

Charlotte Dawson, former model and judge on ANTM was also interviewed as part of the A Current Affair segment. Ms Dawson then appeared on Channel Nine’s Mornings show the next day, further plugging the incident. She went on to say that she was worried about the girls’ wellbeing as a result of the footage being aired etc, but if the show was so worried about their contestants and what the public might say, why air it at all?

I think it’s disgraceful, the whole thing, and even though it’s the industry I work in, this kind of thing makes me sick that the media would promote such a thing just to win ratings.

TV gives us a good dose of reality

I am not ashamed to admit that I like to watch reality television. Having pay TV is great, because most of the shows on it are reality TV shows or ‘docu-dramas’ or whatever you want to call them.

I like to watch other shows as well, like the news, cooking, home renovating and music channels, but there is something about reality TV that gets me hooked.

Guilty pleasure viewing... Jersey Shore.

I think I like it so much because I can’t believe that half of what is aired is actually aired. Like the kids on Jersey Shore who go out night after night and drink, sleep around and fight like it's going out of fashion. It’s the shock and awe factor.

Let's be honest, we usually don't watch these shows because the characters have something to offer us on an intellectual level - we watch because we want to indulge in their crazy antics.

Last night I watched ‘Being Lara Bingle’ one of the newest shows to be added to my must-watch list. It joins Keeping Up With the Kardashians, Guiliana and Bill, Jersey Shore, Real Housewives of Beverley Hills, Made in Chelsea, The Only Way is Essex and the list goes on… then there is the reality competition-style shows like Masterchef, The Voice etc.

The Kardashians have come under fire for how much of their lives they expose for TV ratings.

I have gotta say – these people who appear on these shows have really got balls (yes, even the girls) for putting everything out there. I know that many say that these shows aren’t really ‘reality’ and that they are more scripted than we know, but regardless, it still makes for compelling viewing.

For instance, last night while I was watching Lara Bingle go about her thing, I saw a young woman who really has made a pretty successful modelling career for herself, who has some great friends who have stuck by her and a family who have been through some immense struggles. She hasn’t hurt anyone by being famous or for once being engaged to a sports star… she's just another Sydney chick trying to make her mark on the world (for the record I couldn't imagine being on the front page of a magazine with a story about my obvious cellulite and weight gain like Lara did).

For some reason, people love to hate Lara Bingle. I don't.

I guess with any of this TV, if you don’t like it, you do have the option of changing the channel. There are so many armchair critics in Australia (many of them employed by the television networks to bag the opposition) and they all love to rip shreds off each other.

I am sick of hearing about The Shire – I watched the first episode of it and it wasn’t for me, so I haven’t tuned in again. Simple as that. I am not out there kicking and screaming about how it ‘dumbs down’ Australians and makes us look like a bunch of vain, Botox-obsessed airheads like many commentators have.

Sophie and Vernessa from The Shire, Channel Ten's latest reality TV offering.

I think that reality TV is there to give a snapshot into the lives of people to show how very different we all are. Whether we would like to admit it or not, we are a voyeuristic society – the popularity of Facebook and Instagram proves that we are a bunch of sticky-beaks who love to know other people’s business.

I think that reality TV shows just give us an open outlet to indulge in this and compare our own reality to the lives of those we see on our flat screens (by compare I don’t mean literally, because lets face it, most of us won’t have an extravagant $1 million plus wedding like Kim Kardashian and then get divorced after just 72 days).

And yes, for the record, I will be tuning in to Channel Nine's revamped Big Brother - it's filmed in my home town and I am genuinely amazed at the careers some of the contestants from this show have been able to carve out for themselves.

Whether we want to admit it or not, a majority of what we are watching on television these days is deemed 'reality' TV and it doesn't seem to be going anywhere.

Why labels have been 'attached' to parenting

Image thanks to 60 Minutes Australia

This really isn’t a topic that I want to get too heavily involved in… but I have an opinion and want to share it!

Last night 60 Minutes aired a story called On Demand , which was all about ‘attachment parenting’. Put simply, attachment parenting is basically where the parents respond immediately to the natural needs and demands of their child/children.

This includes feeding (breastfeeding more specifically) until the child is ready to be weaned off the boob and other things including co-sleeping (where the child sleeps in its parent’s bed at night so that they are in close physical contact at all times) and emotional contact (if they child cries it is immediately soothed so that they aren’t stressed or scared).

60 Minutes interviewed several mothers who practiced fulltime attachment parenting including several who were still breastfeeding their children at the age of four.

Now I have absolutely no issue with breastfeeding – that’s not my issue. I plan on breastfeeding and I am all for the nutritional and emotional benefits it gives the child. But I can’t help but feel that these parents, although doctors say they will probably raise more emotionally tuned-in kids, will also raise highly needy and dependent kids because they are choosing to give in to the wants of their children who are nearly at the age of starting school.

In the series The Slap on ABC, Melissa George’s character Rosie is an earth mother and attachment parent to her four-year-old son, Hugo. I will never forget the scene where the child runs up to his mother, wailing (because he did the wrong thing and was reprimanded by another adult) and basically pulls down her top and starts sucking because he is upset. No permission is asked, it is just assumed and his mother is happy to oblige much to the disgust of the other adults.

Now I am not debating that the role of a mother is to nurture her family - we were put on this planet to reproduce and it's a gift that I am happy to have been given.

But I think that when you’re a parent, it’s important that your child knows that you love them no matter what and that you go through certain means of showing and telling them this. Your child will grow up knowing how much they are loved because of how you show your affection for them – not because of how much time they have spent attached to your nipple.

I don’t think that mothers should be made to feel bad for not being able to be a full-time attachment parent and breastfeed on demand because they have to go back to work after six months to help support the family. Yes, some mothers have to put their kids into day care – shock horror!

I suppose that I should mention that I am not against attachment parenting at all - I am against the women who choose to put other mothers down because of their superior attitudes and 'I'm better than you' mentality that some mothers have adopted.  

Unfortunately you can’t have it all (be a fulltime attachment parent and be with your child 24/7 and also go back to a fulltime job) so now we have this division that has been created between attachment and non-attachment parents. Why can’t we just be called parents – mothers and fathers? Why has this war between mothers been created when we should really just be supporting each other for doing the best that we can?  

I love the fact that some mothers are able to stay at home with their children and immediately be there for them when they need to be fed or consoled – I would love to give up work forever and just focus on raising a family, but that’s not a reality for me and it’s not for a majority of other women out there as well.

The attachment parenting debate also focuses in on co-sleeping. The 60 Minutes story highlighted pros and cons for this – some parents are just lazy and can’t be bothered getting up to their child in the middle of the night. Other parents are so in-tuned with their baby that if the mother wakes, checks on her child and goes back to sleep, that the baby will often wake, realise they are in close contact with their mother and father, and immediately fall back to sleep without a whimper.

There are some mothers who also swear by self-soothing, where the child cries itself to sleep and gets itself over any issue it had. These mothers have been branded harsh and careless. I have a massive issue with this. The child isn’t loved any less just because it is teaching itself to calm down – it is just the parent’s choice to put their child into this particular routine and the child eventually adapts to it.

Above all, I feel like my husband summed it up best last night by stating that it has become more about the mother and her choices as a parent, and less about the actual baby. Why is the media focusing on driving a wedge between parents when they should be focusing on the good things mothers and fathers are achieving together?

This debate is not for everyone and I don’t have much more to say than this: I am sure each parent strives to be the best mother or father to their children that they can be, and in my book, that’s good enough.

Doing it her way

I love myself some Gwenyth Paltrow. My favourite Gwennie movies are definitely Great Expectations and Shakespeare in Love. And whether or not you're a lover, a hater or a GOOP reader, I'd like to just post some love for one of my fave actresses.

I have always admired this classy, gorgeous blonde woman and want to share some snippets from her recent interview with Harper’s Bazaar US where she discussed Botox, marriage, family and fashion.

On marriage:

Not a day goes by when we don’t read about yet another celeb couple calling it quits. Gwyneth’s refreshing stance on her nuptials to Chris Martin show why they are still going eight years strong.

‘I think you do fall in and out of love and you just keep going, and every time you go through a really difficult phase, you rediscover something new and it just gets better. We’ve been married for more than eight years now, and we’re still into it.’

She is quoted crediting her father for offering practical marital advice and admires his 30-year marriage he had with her mother, Blythe Danner.


On Botox and diets:

With her gorgeous complexion and killer bod, you’d think that she was privy to a few cosmetic enhancements here and there, but it’s all down to eating things in moderation and her desire to age gracefully.

When she’s not detoxing, Gwenyth says she lets herself splurge now and again – she doesn’t have any strict rules that she adheres to.

‘I eat whatever I want. I like bread and cheese and wine, and that makes my life fun and enjoyable.’

And she definitely won’t be turning to synthetic injectables in her bid to keep her youthful looks.

‘I’ll take my wrinkles. I don’t like the Botox thing,’ she says.

 

On fashion:

Something she wants to pass on to her daughter Apple, is her fashion and style – she has kept some of her most cherished red carpet looks for her little girl.

‘I've been saving my clothes for her since before she was born,’ she says. 

'She likes anything that's pretty, pretty, pretty or has a bow or a ruffle or is pink.'

The March edition of Harper’s Bazaar comes out February 14.